oh god i still miss him

dear gentle reader,

as what you can read from the title above and surely, in this post, im sure that you can guess what im going to tell you guys. yes, shoot me and kill me please, that im still merindui him and gosh, how i wish i can end this feeling. i know, it's all over, and i have to go on with my life, my new life, but my feeling is still living in the past. my mind is always thinking about him, and rite now, while other people are laughing to the utmost, im crying and bleeding in pain. i miss him, miss him miss him but i know, i will not be with him. when can i get over it??

last nite, i did call him. it's a stupid thing that i always do, but i can't resist myself for not doing that. i miss him, that's why i text him n called him. but now, i know, he hates me, for contacting him. it seems that he's already forget me, which to me it has to be done, cause he's getting married this may..but what about me?

i miss him, more n more each day. i want to move on, but i can't. i know my frens will be disappointed and for that i am so sorry..

every day and every night, i miss him, so dearly and so much...

Tuhanku, please help me to vanish this feeling..

                            

simple poem: regret :(

the reason for this goodbye
is because someone who never ever been there
to just leave and break with you
is such a stupid thing that i do
i never proud to admit that i am such a fool
and be so selfish at the same time too
oh my, now you're gone
to be in someone else's arms
and leave me alone, for no one to calm

am i regret this separation happen?
oh yes, i do
am i want all this to happen?
oh no, it's not that i like to do
but after all, i must say that i love you..
more and more each day till i can forget you..
i wonder when i've the courage to leave you

and now i am here all by myself
sitting alone, restless and hopeless
with your picture appears more frequently in my mind
how i wish i can turn back time
but if it happen, i know it's a crime

to you my love, i wish your happiness
may you'll find your true love and comfortness
im sorry that i can't fulfill my promise
just because, i have someone else
that appears to never been there for me..

im sorry, im sorry, im sorry..
it's all come back to me now
for me to pay the price
coz hurting you, it cost me much..

~it's my first attempt to write a simple poem based on my lately experience.apologize for any grammatical error occurs in this poem.

well, basically, this poem is about my feeling and emotion right now, and how i regret everything that i've done to him. im sorry, im sorry im sorry. that's the word that in return hurts me back..
thus my love towards him is getting stronger day by day. but i realize, it's only me who love him.and now he's getting married, i must forget him, but till this time, it's so painful and hard me to do.

the reason behind the lost ???

Abdullah perlu pikul tanggungjawab kekalahan - Dr. Mahathir

KUALA LUMPUR 9 Mac - Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad hari ini berkata bahawa penggantinya Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi perlu memikul tanggungjawab sepenuhnya bagi kekalahan teruk yang dialami Barisan Nasional (BN) dalam pilihan raya umum semalam.

"Beliau patut memikul tanggungjawab dalam soal ini, seperti kemenangan besar-besaran pada 2004 yang dilaporkan disebabkan oleh kewibawaan beliau, 100 peratus, dan itulah yang dikatakan oleh Setiausaha Agung UMNO pada ketika itu.

"Tetapi sekarang beliau juga patut memikul tanggungjawab itu 100 peratus.

Beliau telah memusnahkan UMNO, beliau telah memusnahkan BN, dan beliau patut bertanggungjawab bagi kekalahan teruk ini," katanya pada sidang akhbar yang diadakan beberapa jam selepas keputusan pilihan raya diumumkan, di sini.

Dr. Mahathir berkata, amat mengejutkan bahawa BN tumbang di lima negeri dan Wilayah Persekutuan menerusi isyarat serupa yang ditunjukkan oleh semua tiga kaum utama - Melayu, Cina dan India.

"Saya fikir orang Jepun akan melakukan harakiri. Tetapi saya rasa orang Melayu tidak sampai ke tahap itu lagi. Saya fikir beliau patut menimbangkan untuk mengundurkan diri," katanya sambil menambah beliau juga akan mengambil tindakan yang sama jika beliau berada dalam situasi seperti Abdullah.

Kepada soalan sama ada BN telah tersilap perkiraan dengan mengadakan pilihan raya umum lebih awal, Dr. Mahathir berkata beliau tidak yakin bahawa dengan menangguhkannya setahun lagi akan membawa sebarang perbezaan daripada segi keputusannya, kerana rasa tidak puas hati rakyat terhadap pentadbiran Abdullah sudah tidak dapat dibendung lagi.

"Empat tahun selepas pilihan raya umum lepas, beliau telah melakukan banyak perkara yang salah tetapi mereka ini (media) terus melaporkan betapa rakyat menyayanginya," kata bekas Perdana Menteri itu.

Pelbagai isu yang membawa kepada rasa tidak puas hati terhadap kerajaan termasuk persepsi bahawa di sebalik angka pertumbuhan ekonomi yang tinggi diumumkan oleh kerajaan serta pelancaran wilayah-wilayah pembangunan, rakyat di peringkat akar umbi tidak berasa apa-apa (faedahnya).

"Mereka mendapati bahawa kerajaan ini ditadbir oleh sebuah keluarga bagi kepentingan keluarga itu. Selagi wujud keadaan lebih mengutamakan keluarga daripada Kabinet, kerajaan sendiri, saya fikir rakyat akan mahu menentang mereka," katanya.

Kepada soalan lain, Dr. Mahathir berkata, bagaimanapun terserah kepada UMNO untuk memutuskan mengenai pengganti Abdullah sekiranya beliau meletakkan jawatan, atau mungkin Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak boleh mengambil alih.

"Datuk Seri Najib telah meraih kemenangan mengagumkan, lebih baik daripada keputusan pada 2004 yang merupakan tahun terbaik bagi BN. Majoriti yang diperoleh beliau meningkat manakala kemerosotan undi Abdullah agak ketara," katanya.

Dr. Mahathir berkata sebuah kerajaan yang dibentuk dengan majoriti mudah adalah sebuah kerajaan yang lemah terutama dalam sebuah negara berbilang kaum yang antara lain boleh menyebabkan ketidakstabilan, dan kemudiannya menjejaskan keyakinan pelabur.

Beliau, bagaimanapun, berkata masih ada harapan bagi BN untuk memperbetulkan keadaan itu dengan syarat mereka mesti memberi perhatian terhadap isyarat yang diberikan oleh rakyat.

Kepada satu lagi soalan, Dr. Mahathir berkata beliau percaya ia pastinya sukar bagi Abdullah untuk mengundurkan diri secara sukarela kerana, sehingga kini, Abdullah masih tidak cuba memahami kerumitan daripada kekalahan itu dan sebaliknya menyalahkan orang ramai bagi kekalahan itu.

Melahirkan rasa sedih beliau dengan kekalahan itu, bekas Perdana Menteri berkata, beliau tidak menjangka yang BN akan kalah seteruk itu.

Mengenai kebangkitan semula Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim dalam pilihan raya ini, Dr. Mahathir berkata beliau percaya bahawa Anwar masih "relevan" tetapi beliau sama sekali tidak akan menjadi Perdana Menteri negara ini.

Ditanya mengenai kemungkinan pembangkang memenuhi janji mereka seperti yang dinyatakan dalam manifesto mereka, kata Dr. Mahathir: "Mereka hanya membuat janji itu kerana mereka tidak fikir yang mereka akan membentuk kerajaan tetapi saya sangsi yang mereka dapat menunaikan janji apabila mereka menawan lima negeri."

Dr. Mahathir berkata, beliau akan terus memainkan peranan sebagai seorang warganegara dengan menyuarakan dan berkongsi pendapatnya jika perlu.

"Saya tidak mahu sebarang gelaran rasmi, menteri kanan atau penasihat tetapi jika mereka datang kepada saya dan meminta nasihat saya, saya bersedia untuk berkongsinya demi faedah negara," katanya.

Mengenai kemenangan anaknya Datuk Mukhriz di kawasan Parlimen Jerlun, beliau berkata ia cuma kejayaan biasa, meskipun dengan majoriti lebih besar.

a day at school, to be precised East Brisbane State Primary School

dear gentle reader,

hey all..well i feel like writing tonite...

for this one subject, Field Trip Research, i have been sent to this school. The journey took about 10 mins or so, coz it's located in Wollogabba, precisely besides Gabba Stadium (not Suncorp Stadium, ok?). Coz it's our (Maya, Ida and i ) first day at school, we decided to get off early- 7.10am from Unilodge straight to Queen Street Mall Bus station. to take the bus, we need to wait @ A3 station which took us a tour just to get there. not because we're lost, but the station is a bit far from the main entrance. so, extra walking for us :)

we took route 214 bus which passed 4 stations before arriving that place. The bus stations included Culture Center, Southbank, Mater and Woolongabba. Luckily for us, the bus driver sent us straight to the school, cause if he dropped us at the Woolongabba, then we got to do extra-extra walking, which we were not really fond to do it since we're already did it earlier. we met sal at the entrance and waiting for badak n ewan to arrive. we were ahead from the schedule-arrived at 7.45, the school starts at 8.45, so we got an hour to go. ida n sal wanted to hv brekkie, so we walked (again) to the nearest 7E.

*since badak n ewan lived nearby, so we knew that they will arrive just in time.

at 7E, i didn't do any buying coz i had stomach ache. although i felt a bit hungry, i didn't want to take the risk. we went back to the school and the principal greet us and welcomed us to the school. and so, we waited at the staff room and the two guys had safely arrived. to kill the time, we did some flipping of the books at the staff room. we had some interest on some books that we even thought to 'steal' them. but, hurm, not now..hehehehee

around 9, we had been introduced to the 6 children from that school. i think they were from year 4 or 5. Danielle, from year 5 took me a 'tour' to the little school compund before she showed me to the prep/yr 1 classroom. when i said little school compound, i really mean it. but as people say, size doesn't matter. the school had enough facilities for all students-they even have a swimming pool. how cool is that.

finally, i arrived at prep classroom. my first impression- they were all tiny and cute!!!!!..innocent and naughty..sneaky? yes, definitely!!..the class teacher introduced me to the classroom. Mandy was indeed a nice lady, but the class was a bit in hangwired-disorganized, i must say that. but im more interested on the children. so forget abt the classroom. yes, to say my name is a bit hard for them and also for Mandy, but i kept my name short and from now on, i'll be using 'NURUL' instead of my lengthy name.

i met new children-Jodie (she says that 'i like you' to me-i just met her!!), Alex (brilliant girl), Jett (naughty boy), Zed (a bit quiet, Zana (OMG, he's so cute), Alice (French girl who speaks little English), Alicia (love her), Valeria (Brazilian girl), Liam (he really helps me-very friendly boy), Crystal (teaches me this one game), Asma (african girl), Jessica ( a good friend of Alex), Eliza (Korean girl-so cute and adorable!!), Jay Dean (extremely naughty), Angus (he's a bit slower and always hold a miniature of dragon in his hand) and others that i didn't manage to get their names. but i still got another 5 more sessions to go.

throughout the day, i love the swimming session the most!!..it felt like i was watching my own children learn on how to swim. with my kebaya attire, they asked me to join them in the pool. of coz i won't go there. but i will-i think- if i bring my swimming attire along with me (wah, ade ke??) hehehehe...

besides that i also did some reading session-with year 1 children and writing and drawing with prep kiddies..love that moment!!!
the children loved to touch my kebaya. they said it was so soft (my dearie children, it was chinese silk) and they tended to lift up my kain..opsie..not there..but yeah, they loved it. it's good to expose to new culture-i bet.

anyhow, i already missed them!!!..but my next session is in next 2 weeks..wah rindunye..

(bler nk dpt anak sendiri ni?aihhh)..

okla...dats all. yeap, im having a wonderful time there and can't wait to 20th March..looking forward to it..

 


muah2x..x sbr nk jd cekgu..hehehehe

tata...

a tiring weekend..

hye peeps..

even tho im so tired..really tired..i still want to update something in my blog..my eyes are rolling rite now, wanted to be closed.but wait eyes, wait till i finish my business here..

so, this weekend was so exhausting and tiring..no other words can describe the enourmous feeling of tiredness.. im so freaking penat n mengantuk plus etc..

first hang out with my buddies. im having the best time, no matter what time it is..
second hang out with the coolest juniors..acan, zaim n ka to Gold Coast..been there..like so many times (really?) but still enjoiying myself there..
third..the BBQ and releasing of my position in this one club..thank God..

so where is the part of tiring?well, since my eyes say it's time to stop, so, i will stop here n probably continue this later on..

tata

If I could only hold you now and make the pain just go away...

I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes
A little righteous and too proud
I just want to find a way to compromise
Cos I believe that we can work things out

I thought I had all the answers never giving in
But baby since youve gone I admit that I was wrong

All I know is Im lost without you Im not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say well never be together and we ended with goodbye dont know what Id do ...im
Lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is Im lost without you
I keep trying to face the day Im lost without you

How my ever gonna get rid of these blues
Baby Im so lonely all the time
Everywhere I go I get so confused
Youre the only thing thats on my mind

Oh my beds so cold at night and I miss you more each day
Only you can make it right no Im not too proud to say

All I know is Im lost without you Im not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say well never be together and we ended with goodbye dont know what Id do ...im
Lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is Im lost without you
I keep trying to face the day Im lost without you

If I could only hold you now and make the pain just go away
Cant stop the tears from running down my face
Oh

All I know is Im lost without you Im not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say well never be together and we ended with goodbye dont know what Id do ...im
Lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is Im lost without you
I keep trying to face the day Im lost without you

**i miss you..

So if we're not together, i will always remember you

Time goes by fast
Got my memories
And they will last
I try to keep it simple
Cause I hate goodbyes
I try to keep it simple
By telling myself

That
I, I will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much I could say
But words get in the way
So, if we're not together
I will remember you
I will remember you

We're a picture
In my mind
And when I want to find you
I just close my eyes
You'll never be that far from me
So don't say goodbye
Cause you'll never be that far from me
I'm telling myself

That
I, I will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much I could say
But words get in the way
So, if we're not together
I will remember you

You were there when
I needed a friend
Thank you, thank you
I never told you
How much that meant
Yeah thank you, thank you

I will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much I could say
But words get in the way

So, I.. I will remember you
And all of the things that we've gone through
There is so much I could say
But words get in the way
So, when we're not together you
I will remember
When we're not together
I will remember you

* it's always hard to forget something that you heart to..and for me, i will always remember the person that i used to have..altho we need to go on and just leave the past behind, it's never been easy for me to do that. yes, every advise counts and i appreciate all the concerns that have been given to me, and im very thankful to have y'all, but it's still there and always be there..only time will heals everything and may all goodness are poured to me and him..i will always love you altho you're not mine anymore..

i will always remember you..

antara cuti dn kelas

hye there..
lamenye x update blog ni..sorila, no internet connection at home. so it's very difficult for me to get access with the internet. tp skrg dh blk dh aussie ni (oh why?) n it means that internet is part of my life now..for the next 10 months..

so, cuti dh nk abis n kelas dh nk start blk..but before i talk about class, just nk recap dulu ape yg dibuat n ape yg tjadi spjg 3 bulan kt ganu..

well i spend most of my holiday with my family. all 'the' plans to meet up my old frens weren't successful due to the fact of busyness and laziness..hehehe..sorry guys.
i went to different places namely perak, kelantan and n9 for holiday..also kl, and had fun with my sygs. there was a plan to go to cameron highland but failed because we had to make a choice bet. pd or ch, so we chose pdickson since we wanted to go to nilai to shop there-nice clothes and souveniors i bought..hehehe..

then attended wedding ceremony, just once, because im not in the mood to see happy faces (dun get me wrong, k, it's just being part of the ceremony made me sad in some ways), also attended engagement ceremony (to be one of the crews since the guy's family was so busy with their stuff, so i had to be the pemegang dowry, nasib baik x jatuh ape2). held yasin recitation ceremony for my arwah atuk..it's a peaceful time for me and yet sad..been to his grave and believe me, everytime i went there, there's always tears in my cheeks. i guess, i couldn't let him go yet.

my brothers n sisters went back to our home during the CNY holidays. so great to be with them. we had a big dinner together and went to Taman Tamadun Islam at Pulau Wan, Trg. since my dad is one of the project team members, we got the access to be there and enjoy the monuments. so nice, tho..the environment. i even took this boat called as 'bot penambang' for the first time in my life. it was great experience even tho i had to sit near to the boat engine. nasib baik muke x itam..hehehehe..but one couldn't agree more with me that malaysia is so hot..i guess it's all come down to global warming..

fyi, i took driving class, yeap, i don't hv driving licence. it's so weird at first but fun. i managed to gerak the wheel on the road. but because of the time, i didn't manage to get the licence, yet. need to continue it end of this year. then came the sadness in my life. just 4 days before nk blk cni, i received a call from my long time ex-lover. he said he's engaged now n getting married this june. my heart shattered into pieces when he said the words. but, like my mom said there's no jodoh between him n i..so, i wish him all the best of happiness n luck..deep down in my heart i still have feelings for him but it doesn't matter anymore..need to move on.what goes around comes around.. mane tau diaorg becerai ke nnti..opsss sori, i get too emotional there..sori ya, no heart feelings.

there you go. i synthesised my 3 months holiday into 4 paragraphs..nice eh ..hehehe..so that it's easy to read :P

and now the class part..

new term will start from 24th onwards..really bz because of the time scheduling..i think i've more than i can do..yet i need to try my best.
the goals: improve my speaking n writing skills, particularly my speaking skills.
               just say what i wanna say
               just do what i wanna do
                 get good grades and upgrade my gpa (pointer)
                    strictly no men is allowed in my heart (for now)

thats all... i think i'll be adding the goals from time to time

ok chow, nk mndi dulu bebeh

hv a nice day..:)

15 things to ponder...

hye peeps,
how's everybody going on today?good?excellent..(sounds like a teacher la plak)..hehehe...neway, i just want to share with you this stuff. i received this thing in mailbox and yeah, i think why not if i share them with my beloved readers.hehehe.ok..here you go:

1. There are at least 5 people in this world who love and willing to die for you.

2. There are at least 15 ppl in this world who love you in many different ways.

3. The main reason why a person is jealous and hate of you is simply because he0r she just want to be like you.

4. Your smile can bring happiness to someone, even though that person might not like you.

5. Every single night, there will be someone who remember you before he or she go to sleep.

6. Just remember that someone treasures you and you're priceless to he or she.

7. If it is not you, someone's life won't be meaningful.

8. Put into your mind that you're special and unique in some ways.

9. Someone that you hardly know or don't know at all loves you heaps.

10. When you make mistakes that are so big, there are some good sides out of it. Things do happen for some reason.

11. If you feel like being intimidated or left out, just think back, maybe you're the one who left your friends.

12.  When you think that you're already lost one opportunity to get a thing that you want the most, maybe you won't get it, but believe in yourself that sooner or later, you'll get it.

13. Remind yourself all the praises you get. Forget all the nasty words that have been thrown to you. No grudge.

14. Don't be afraid to express your feelings. You will feel much better if you let someone that you trust be part of your life and share your feeling.

15. If you have best and clost buddy, take time to tell that he or she is the best for you. Friends are precious to us!

I just love to read that 15 things to ponder cause they do motivate me in some ways..Hope that they will inspire you guys too..

Love,
Jannah..

p.s: counting days to go back..to the date, only 3 days remaining.

hurm..what??

hye peeps..
yeah, it's been a while not contributing anything to this blog. not because i don't time (i have plenty of time but just waste it like that), but nothing interesting to gossip on this page..heehhehe..
anyway, one couldn't agree more that the weather here in brissy (or better known as 'brisvegas'-dunno where the hell they got this name for brisbane-it's not a sin city watsover) is just bewildered..yeap, it's going crazy, with one u have hot (when i mean hot, it's really damn hot) to the rainy day, it makes me sick..but, i hv to be thankful coz at least, the rains cool down the city..yeah...go rain..

just finish packing my stuff to bring back to my hometown..gosh, how i couldn't believe that i have soooooooooooooooo maaaaaaaaaaannnny souvenirs to give to my family..for sure, i hope that my bag isn't going to exceed the weight limit..that is 20 kg for the cargo bag and 7 for the hand luggage..i hve so many things to put into one big bag, but still, it's not enough..huhuhu..it's a sign that i need to stop shopping..but hell no, im not going to do that..shopping is my passion..

next year, thing will be a lil bit different..ppl keep moving out from unilodge..feels like empty once everybody busy to get new home..hurm guess, im so not ready for new life since im happy with what i have now..although my future room has to be shared with another person, im ok with it..iyela, since ipba we have to share room kn?so y bother to change that norm?hehehehe..no offence guys..you have the right to make choice..yeah, unilodge will be quite..but im expecting new faces especially from the uq ppl..heard that some of them will be living here..just wait n c..

yeah tired olredi..dunno what to write..hv to stop here..
bye